How to have the courage to dress differently.

Found via Gothbeauty on Tumblr.

Many Goths that are new to the subculture worry about being judged and insulted in public, simply because of what they're wearing. Sadly this does happen but I've learnt to deal with it, I understand how upsetting it can be. For those of you who struggle to wear gothic clothes in public I hope this post helps build your confidence.

Try dressing gothic for the first time at a Goth specific event, like a Goth night at your nearest club or Whitby Goth Weekend. You might even feel a little underdressed! If you can't go to a club because you're under age or there's no events near you try seeking out Goths in your area, being surrounded by like minded people will help. The older Goths probably won't react to insults and you'll blend into the group, which means you probably won't get any personal insults. If you don't have any Goths in your area you should at least walking outside with a confident friend, they'll distract you and cheer you up if anything does happen.

However you'll have to wear gothic clothes outside on your own at some point, I promise it's not that scary! You could dress casually first and build your way up, sometimes when I think I'm dressing casual I'm still different to everyone else. You won't even notice after a while but I know that doesn't help at the moment. Listening to music really helps me daydream and ignore anything happening around me, alternatively you could do an activity that also distracts you. For example you could knit whilst on the bus so you don't see any stares or odd looks.

Before you leave the house you should give yourself a pep talk, get yourself into a mindset of which you don't care what people think. Come on, who cares about that random teenager you'll never see again? Please be prepared for anything that may or may not happen, people staring and making remarks is something you have to come to terms with. If you don't think you can then perhaps this fashion is not for you, but at least give it a chance before making a decision.

I understand that for some people it's no big deal but for others it really is, I used to be very shy and I found it difficult to dress different in public. However I'm no longer afraid of what people may think, I'm still shy but I've got no problem dealing with any issues it may bring up. Here are some further posts on the subject you may find useful:

• Another stereotype, another day. My part rant part post about people making assumptions based on what I wear.
• Coming out the Goth wardrobe. A post about how to slowly introduce Goth to difficult parents.
• The Dealing with Pest series is all about negative reactions and what to do if you find yourself in one, this first part is about the people you'll typically have to deal with.
• The second part of Dealing with Pests is about the type of questions you'll receive and how you should reply.
• Dealing with Pests part 3 is all about being in an unpleasant situation such as being attacked or having a drink thrown at you. Also includes self defense advise and a few sneaky tricks.
• The final part of Dealing with Pests concludes with me sharing my worst reactions and others share their own experiments.
• It's also worth clicking the Fashion and Info tabs for more related subjects.

If any of you are having a bad day or someone has said something that really upset you feel free to comment and offload to me, I promise to make you feel better. Ooh look another cat gif!

Found on cutecatgifs via Tumblr. I love how the dog just accepts it.

Five things I'll never do on my blog.

Found via Tumblr, but also available on his Flickr.

• Numerous outfit posts.

I'm far too lazy and private, my outfits for college are hardly gothic due to early mornings and the environment. Printing ink and threads all over my favourite velvet skirt? No thanks. I rarely take photos of myself either, it takes 50 shots before I get a decent one and even that one I have to fuss with. Usually my cat is in the background licking his arse and I don't notice until I upload it *facepalm*

• Add a music player.

It's incredibly annoying! I cannot stand it on other blogs so I wouldn't punish my own readers the same way.

• Post everyday.

I never fully read blogs that post every single day, it's rarely all quality posts worth reading. I'm at college full time and I have a part time job, sometimes I just wish I could have a whole week to myself with nothing to do but relax. I'll always post at least once a week though, this blog is my time to breath and relax. And share cat gifs.

• Cause drama.

The main reason why I deleted the negative review of Love Miss Daisy was simply because of the drama and upset (for me) involved, even though they was in the wrong I didn't want my blog to become a place about scammers and liars. However I won't hestiate to post a bad review and if anyone of you are being scammed please let me know and I'll help spread the word.

• Not post cat gifs.

Sorry but I love cats! My gifs won't move in the actual post, I'm worried it might crash people's computers. Click on the gif to see it move or save it.

Found at catgifs via Tumblr.

I'll also never stop loving my readers ;) tell me what you would never allow on your blog.

Beauty "advice" you should ignore.

Found at Beauty is a weapon via Tumblr.

Drink as much water as possible for glowing skin!
You should simply drink as much as you feel like drinking, I tried drinking 2 litres of water a day but I ended up with a bladder infection and a scolding from my Doctor. It's your body so it's up to you to find a balance between too little and too much.

A milk and lemon facial will make you paler!
I've seen this recommended countless times on Goth and vintage blogs, in reality it's no miracle worker and it works quite simply. The lemon's acid and the lactic acid in the milk will remove the dead skin cells and exfoliate your skin. The lemon juice is supposed to also act as a bleaching agent but I'm wary of it's strength. It's also worth noting that when you tan you don't actually tan all your three main skin layers, which is why this facial is often recommended. However it won't dramatically change your skin tone, you would be much better off using a product that's designed for skin. You could easily develop a reaction from this facial so please skip it if you sensitive skin, if you do decide to use it then please don't leave it on for too long and wash the milk off completely.

Wash your face with cold in the morning for a fresh awakening!
It's not necessary and if you're still half asleep it's probably not that good for you, sometimes I whimper just pulling the duvet back. Instead try stretching and sitting up for a few minutes. If you've got sensitive skin or Raynaud's syndrome (or any other similar health issues) I do not recommend this. Lukewarm water is best for all skin types and won't send a shiver down your spine in the early winter mornings.

Cucumbers can prevent and remove eye bags/dark circles/etc.
Cucumbers cannot literally remove an eye bag with a single touch, but it does reduce general puffiness by forcing blood vessels to contract. However it's actually the cold temperature of the cucumber that causes this effect and personally I've never seen it make any difference to my dark circles.

Use Prep H to reduce eye bags.
Turn over the box or read the instructions and you'll probably find a warning among the lines of: "KEEP AWAY FROM EYES". Yes it's there for a reason, if you get in your eye you're risking serious injuries and at the very least you'll have dry and irritated skin.

What's the worst beauty advise you've being given? Or perhaps the best?

Always look on the bright side of January.

Found at Friendly Cat via Tumblr.

• It's a fairly mild Winter for bloggers in England at the moment, there's being no snow (yet) and we can turn down the heating which is good news for the bill!
• Sales of course! If you can handle it.
• My UCAS application is finally over and sent off, now I won't have to worry until my interview dates come back. If I get any at all :(
• New year usually brings a new start, like dieting for example. Fuck that I'm still making my way through the Christmas chocolate boxes.

What's happening for you? Anything good this month?

Poll closed and new poll has opened.

Source.

100% of you voted yes to new craft making posts so I'll create a craft tutorial as soon as possible. There's a new layout on my blog so I would appreciate it if you could answer the poll.

How to deal with Baby Bats.

Not this type of bat, source.

Those who are new to the subculture or those who refer to themselves as Goth without much knowledge of the subculture are commonly called Baby Bats. The term Baby Bat is meaningless and simply used as a shorthand way to describe someone, although like many inside terms and jokes it can be used as an insult. They're typically young teenagers wrongly led by the misconceptions of mainstream media and the public in general. Only a few will come to be a part of the subculture because many realise they're not interested in the actual Goth aesthetic. Majority of the time Baby Bats are still finding themselves (specially the younger ones) and experimenting with fashion is something that everybody does, often it involving bad attempts before you settle into a subculture. Seriously sometimes it is a phase.

If you have to deal with intrigued Baby Bats on a regular basis you may find one or two may annoying but the majority are misinformed, they don't have the knowledge to get better clothing so don't openly judge them when you aren't aware of their situation. Don't freak out when they approach you because they're probably just excited to have met another Goth, I've encountered several people like this and though it was frustrating to be interrupted and talk with a complete stranger it was always nice to meet someone as enthusiastic about the subculture as I was, if less knowledgeable. If you're impolite you're enabling them to continue being something you despise in response. They're not going to brush against your delicate clothing and suddenly make it look like a blanket of cheap misguidance.

If a person is educated about the subculture but acts condescending to people who approach them in positive interest, who comes off worse here? I cringe at badly applied "gothic" make up as much as the next person but it's much easier to just ignore it, unless they ask outright for advice don't ruin their day by correcting them about "tr00" Goths. You'll appear elitist and close-minded, Goths already have a stereotype of turning noses up at others so please don't feed this misinformed rubbish.

And if they actually do ask for advise? There are ways to explain Goth without making them feel bad, that is to say if you have the time. Direct them to local communities so they can connect with other Goths and mention music to spark their interest. If you're afraid your critique could be taken offensively just nod and make pleasant chat then move on, don't feel like you have to take them under your wing. If they seriously want to get into the subculture they will eventually find guidance and gain a better understanding of the subculture on their own, after all I did and plenty of other Goths did. I believe everyone needs to discover their true style for themselves and usually do without a conversation from a stranger.

However some Baby Bats won't take kind advise well, whose who stomp their special feet and insist that Evanescence IS Goth aren't worth it if they can't respond to logic and better resources. Act like the more mature person in this suitation, just shrug and take a mental note not to try help them again.

To put it simply, I would hope that a Goth would educate others instead of appearing elitist things. I hope that newbies will meet people in the community who would give them tips or just converse nicely with them even if they are smothered in black lipstick and rather visible dye roots.